dominant – Just A Sub: Learning and Adventures

‘D’ Is For Dominance….

June 10, 2019 sweetslut770Leave a comment

It’s rather hilarious how I just sat here for the last hour trying to think of a word for this letter when it suddenly just hit me like a brick wall: Dominance. That’s the whole thing that brought me here. Dominance and submissiveness. At the risk of sounding more dramatic than I would like, my Master has changed my life.

There were/are things I have wanted to try and have/will with him. There are things I’ve done that I didn’t think I would. Things we have planned to experiment with. It doesn’t get old. Not for me anyways.

I know what it means for him….

I’ve done in the past a post about traits of dominant and submissive personalities so I won’t touch too much on that for a second time. However, if you haven’t read that post yet, click here to enlighten yourself. 😉

I did find a new article while researching things for this post though. From Psychology Today, an article titled ‘Why Some of Us Seek Dominant Partners’. Basically, a study was done in Germany through personality questionnaires to determine how favorable the participants found a dominant sexual partner to be.

“Their results did reveal that there were two types of women who preferred dominant partners—those who displayed boredom susceptibility and disinhibition, and anxiety.“

Now who does that sound like?? 🤔 Oh, yeah…. ME! I found this article to be quite interesting. Now there was also a part in there about anxious women preferring a less dominant partner so they don’t feel overly controlled about trying new things; that they can do it more on their terms. This also makes sense to me, but it’s not quite the case for me. Having a dominant partner pushes me to do things I didn’t think I could do. Or didn’t even know I wanted to do. I feel like this ties in a bit with my last letter/word. He does help build my confidence from time to time, which I’m grateful for. Before I stray too far and forget to link it, head on over here to read the whole article if you’re interested. 🙂

I love my dominant man. What we have works and works well for us. It’s things like this…

*….that he does to make my heart and pussy melt for him.*

I’m thankful and eager to show it to him for sticking around with me. Our personalities, in my opinion, compliment each other well. He’s dominant and in a position of authority; I’m submissive and work under several others. He’s very educated and professional; I only have a Bachelor’s degree and wear yoga pants in my den to work. It’s hard to believe what we have has lasted as long as it has. I’m by no means complaining, as it is a pleasant surprise. He’ll wise up eventually and walk away, but I will always remember our time together.

I adore my dominant Master and all the moments we share. ❤️

Talk again soon! Xoxo

Sweet Snowy Day ❄️

January 19, 2019January 21, 2019 sweetslut770Leave a comment

Today was a snowy day here where I’m at and it was a wonderful one. I had some time with my Master this morning and, as usual, it was amazing. I grabbed some breakfast for us on the way to his house where we laid around all morning, playing with the dog and me giving him a massage. It was nice just to spend some time with him. 🙂

I’m always just slightly torn on days like these. It is beyond wonderful that we can enjoy each other’s company without always having to have sex. It makes me feel as though our relationship isn’t just one dimensional and we can be/are connected on other levels. However, I always want to feel like I’m making the most of our time together because it is a little limited. I would’ve loved to have fucked him today. Especially after that teasing stunt he pulled on me the other day by not letting me suck his cock…he knows how mean that was. 🙂

After I left his snowy home and made it back to my own, I couldn’t help but to smile and reflect back on our time together. My only regret being that he didn’t take me by the hand and lead me to his spare bedroom in the basement where we sometimes play…

He actually will be getting back to work here next week. Kind of excited for that in one sense because I will be seeing him a little bit there. It will be interesting and exciting to pretend not to know him and to have to maintain a professional relationship with him in that setting. 🙂 More on that later!

I hope you all had as good of a day as I did! 🙂

Xoxo

What are your personality traits?

January 9, 2019 sweetslut7701 Comment

What a hard question to answer! Am I the only one who feels like my traits actually kind of shift slightly depending on the setting/situation/people I’m with? I think its kind of like no one really knows yourself like you do. I act the same generally around everyone I know, but there are things that I change ever so slightly when I’m around different people. I have an insanely dirty mouth and swear constantly, but I refuse to say swear words around my parents or strangers (for the most part). It just feels wrong. However, those I’m closest to probably think I’m part sailor because of my mouth. I’m a quite agreeable person; I am not fond of confrontation, but will stand up for myself every now and again when I feel like I can’t put up with it anymore. It’s almost like having a jar full of moments that I put up with other people’s shit and when it gets full, I have to dump some of it out.

I think I would be safe to say that generally speaking, most people are this way. Some people are just rude no matter what and some people just can’t say a bad word about anyone no matter what the circumstances are. Those people can be tough to be around for me sometimes though because I definitely do more than my fair share of judging others for anything and everything. Sometimes I know I have to censor myself around certain friends because they won’t appreciate my comments, but I have other friends who will sit there and laugh like a hyena with me about someone we are poking fun at.

In doing some research online, I found this article that was an interesting read. It basically goes over personality traits that are commonly found between doms and subs. I think the findings seemed to line up with what I thought they would before I actually started reading the article.

Additionally, participants who preferred the dominant role tended to be lower in agreeableness and neuroticism compared to submissive participants and to the general population, while, submissives tended to be more extraverted than the general population. Additionally, dominants tended to have higher subjective well-being and were less sensitive to rejection compared to the general population, suggesting that people drawn to the dominant role may be particularly psychologically well adjusted.

The above direct quote makes sense to me. However, in my personal experience so far in my relationship with my Master, this doesn’t prove to be exactly true. He is not what I call ‘low in agreeableness’. I know we don’t take on our dom and sub roles constantly in our relationship, but even when we are in those roles he still seems fairly agreeable to me. Maybe its just because I want what he wants, and not just because I’m his submissive slut, but because I truly want the same things that he does. Who knows? Still learning over here. 🙂

I also feel like we are both fairly well adjusted psychologically. We both lead ‘normal’ lives, his probably slightly more normal than mine. I definitely have those other submissive traits that I don’t think he has as much: the anxiety, neuroticism, sensitivity to rejection, etc. Perhaps he does have these things and I just don’t know. Maybe that will be a conversation we will have and I can revisit this topic. 🙂 I love learning more about him and his thoughts on anything and everything!

I also found this to be interesting:

Those drawn to the dominant role appear to be self-confident, assertive, and comfortable taking control. Those who are drawn to the submissive role appear to be more introverted and emotional, and enjoy surrendering control. Dominants seem to have a better opinion of themselves and to be more satisfied with their lives compared to submissives, which might be accounted for due to greater extraversion. People of both orientations are open to new experiences and are probably self-disciplined and appreciate structure and rules. Hence, it would seem that people drawn to BDSM choose roles that fit their personalities to a certain extent…

It more or less says that same thing as the quote I shared first, but it is still great food for thought. I do feel like he and I are drawn to each other. At the very least, I know I am strongly drawn to him, both for sexual and intellectual reasons. I think every relationship strives to have that ultimate mix of rough and sweet, fun and serious in all aspects. That balance would be hard to preserve, but I believe with the right communication, openness to try new experiences and complete honesty, it can be achieved. I’m only left to wonder if he and I were in different circumstances, would we be in a strong and completely exclusive relationship? Based on the evidence and experience I currently have in *this* moment, I would say yes. In another universe, in another lifetime, I will forever be his and he would be mine. But in this lifetime and in this reality, I’m just happy he graces me with his presence and we can navigate this together! 🙂