As I was coming up with the title for this post, all I could think about was this song from 1999:
I used to think I was so cool listening to this song in middle school and going into high school. So much angst and thinking I was SO hardcore… Completely hilarious now.
Anywho…..today’s post is about my two worlds colliding together. I have one life that everyone knows about about: my fiance and I grocery shopping together, my friends and I meeting for lunches or game nights, my family coming out for a visit. My normal life. These things are all publicly acknowledged, documented even through social media and memories that are allowed to be shared.
Then there is my other life; my secret one. The one where I have a boyfriend who is my Master. I don’t share with anyone how we sit and talk about movies, or how he fucks me hard in my bed or his guest bed, or how he colors a picture and I rub his back, or how he slaps me and turns both of us on. It is a complicated thing that we have. I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It can be difficult not to share these things about him; my feelings and experiences I mean. But in a strange way, it makes what we have more special because it truly is just between he and I. And, of course, anyone reading this blog right now. 🙂 I’d be lying a little if I were to say that I didn’t care if we never were more than this. I know realistically it won’t happen, but I sure can dream about it, and it is a lovely dream.
I think this picture is important and significant, to me at least, because it shows both of my worlds intertwined. On the right I have my engagement ring. Of course it’s important to me, as is my fiance. I do love him, just as my Master loves his wife. On the left I have my collar, complete with an inscription from my Master. I also love him and he is important to me as well. I’m happy to wear both of these pieces of jewelry. It is interesting with the collar though because I don’t know that many people know what it is exactly. I had someone compliment it just the other day at the store, but I’m certain she just thought it was a necklace. 🙂 It’s exciting to be wearing something in public that represents his ownership of me. I like knowing that I’m his, and he is mine. I know that he will never fully be mine, but I like knowing that it is just he and I with this secret. We share something special and I feel like he and I are getting the best of both worlds right now: we each have our normal lives that we get to enjoy, but then we also get to enjoy our other life together. One of my favorite things about him is when he talks about our future together. I know I’m probably thinking about this a little much like a regular relationship, but its not that far off. I know he feels this way too based on our conversations about it. I trust him. Very much. The advantage he and I have is the complete honesty and trust we have together. So many relationships, including each of our primary relationships, don’t have the same level of honesty and while I’m sure we both trust our significant others strongly, he and I share a different kind of trust.
I can only hope that other subs/girls have what I have. The sub role is obviously still slightly new to me. He and I are both still learning together and even though I refer to him mostly as my Master in this blog, I do still see him more as a boyfriend majority of the time. I think if our schedules allowed for us to have more time together, exploring these roles would be different. Right now, we only have so much time together in these 2-4 hour blocks of time and we try to fit in as much as we can: normal couple things like cuddling, having something to eat (other than his fucking delicious cock), back rubs for him while we mindlessly chat. Most of the time we manage to get a good fuck session in though too…Like yesterday.
Before he left yesterday, we made our way to my bed where we played with our gag for the first time (that will be another post…). He tied it around my head and shoved me onto my back in bed. After a few slaps on my already wet pussy, like in this sexy gif I found:
As I was moaning with my gag in my mouth, he was teasing me like crazy; asking “Is there something you’re trying to say? Do you need something?” It was driving me crazy….Then he crawled on top of me, his mouth on my pussy and moving his cock against my lips. I kept trying to get my tongue out to taste his precum, but I could only do so much with my gag on. Finally after teasing me for what felt like forever, he slid off me and walked around the bed so he could crawl back on top of me to fuck me with that hard cock of his. Looking into his eyes with the gag in my mouth and feeling him fill me with cum was so fucking hot and sexy. He is just absolutely amazing and I can’t wait for my next date with him.
I’ve really gotten off track here in this post. There are many things I want to go back to because I feel they deserve a post of their own, so I’ll get on that. But to wrap things up, I really do have two amazing lives that I get the pleasure of living. I’m happy to have them both and don’t want to lose either anytime soon.
Xoxo
Just A Sub: Learning and Adventures 